'Bride says my speech ruined her wedding - but I don't see any issues with it'
A bridesmaid is debating whether she crossed the line with her wedding speech after the bride accused her of ruining her day
A shocked bridesmaid has sought advice after upsetting a bride on her wedding day. Writing on Mumsnet, the wedding guest revealed she'd been asked to pen a speech on behalf of the bridesmaids, and her pals had given her the thumbs up.
However, the bride hated the speech, leaving the bridesmaid questioning whether she'd overstepped the mark. Sharing her side of the story on social media, the bridesmaid said: "I really need some perspective on this. Friend got married a few weeks ago.
"I was a bridesmaid and the groom asked me to make a speech. I hate public speaking so it was agreed I would write a speech and another bridesmaid would read it out on behalf of all 4 bridesmaids."
She also explained that she "worked so hard" on the speech. "I’ve known the bride for years so had lots of sweet and touching anecdotes. I asked all her friends and family for suggestions including her step children and put in what I thought she would like including funny stories about how she met the groom," her post added.
The bridesmaid claimed: "The bride can be a bit unpredictable and can take herself quite seriously but is also very quirky and funny. I ran the speech past lots of people who know her well including my partner, the other bridesmaids and two mutual friends and they all said it was brilliant."
Unfortunately, the bride disagreed. "The guests were all clapping and laughing so I thought the speech had gone down well, but the bride looked mortified. She later told me she hated it and I completely ruined her wedding. I was obviously really sad to hear that and apologised. I also told her how hard I worked on it and said a little bit of gentle teasing is normal for a wedding speech. She just walked off."
The bridesmaid was taken aback when she later received a message from another bridesmaid stating that the bride was "completely gutted" by the speech, feeling that "she was having a really classy wedding until the speech lowered the tone."
Despite the response, the bridesmaid stood by her speech, reports the Mirror. She said: "Honestly, I felt the speech was so mild. The bride and groom are both in their 40s and this is his second marriage so the speech alluded to the bride having a bit of a past and being a party animal in her 20s. It mentioned a random celebrity she went on one date with in 2007. All her friends and the groom know about that but her parents didn’t.
"It said she loves bargains because she does. At my mum’s funeral I said my mum loved bargains and the bride said 'I hope someone talks about me loving bargains at my funeral' so I thought she would like that. The speech suggested the bride’s love of bargains may be why the wedding was on a Monday. I thought that was funny but she is particularly furious about that part, saying it makes her seem tight."
She added that she felt the rest of the speech was affectionate, with "loving anecdotes about her being a great friend and kind step mum." However, realising she needed to reach out, the bridesmaid contacted her friend. "I messaged apologising that I’d got the speech so wrong but saying what I’ve said here, that it was very mild and she isn’t a beige and boring person so a beige and boring speech wouldn’t have suited her. She hasn’t replied so I don’t know what to do now. We are close and usually speak most days."
Her post concluded: "I want to reach out again to make it up but I also feel she is being ridiculous. I’m really hurt that she hated the speech and didn’t acknowledge any of the lovely things I said. She isn’t speaking to the bridesmaid who read the speech out either. Could saying those things really have ruined her wedding?"
In response, some commenters said they could understand where the bride was coming from. One commenter said: "If she was that fussed about what was in the speech then she should have asked to read it herself before the wedding. You sound like a good friend who has put a lot of thought into your speech and I can understand your upset."
But another wrote: "Actually I think I’m Team Bride. You didn’t have to allude to any of her past in your speech and you certainly shouldn’t have commented on her finances, whether jokingly or otherwise. It’s not a roast, it’s her wedding day."
A different response read: "A bridesmaid speech is different to a best man speech which traditionally contains teasing and references to a past. I see why you did the speech along those lines but she clearly wasn't expecting it and was embarrassed. You missed the mark, and should apologise properly. But you didn't ruin the wedding, and if she doesn't forgive you then she's not a real friend."