Dylan McGeouch reveals guilt that hits as a free agent as ex-Celtic and Hibs star searches for a club

Former Celtic, Hibs and Aberdeen midfielder is on the lookout for his next club

Dylan McGeouch has been at this football crossroads before - but past experience doesn’t make it any easier to navigate.

The season has started on both sides of the border but the midfielder still has no club going into the final week in August.

In between attending PFA camps for free agent players and finishing his A-Licence coaching course, he’s training alone in public parks with dog walkers instead of team mates for company.

It’s a lonely place and doubts can enter the 32-year-old’s head - even though he knows he will get a new club and has years left in the tank.

Worse than that though is the guilt and concern over the upheaval he knows is sure to lie ahead for his young family.

It's the brutal reality for hundreds of professional footballers facing a similar uncertainty. And it’s a reminder of how short a playing career really is.

At the outset of an impressive journey, just 14 years ago, McGeouch was at the centre of an Old Firm tug-of-war that ended with Neil Lennon visiting his parents’ home in the north of Glasgow to convince him to sign for his boyhood heroes. But only after Walter Smith had offered him a lengthy deal to stay at Ibrox.

McGeouch moved to Celtic, won two titles, went on to become a Scottish Cup legend with Hibs, won two Scotland caps and enjoyed spells at Sunderland and Aberdeen.

But after three years at Forest Green Rovers and latterly Carlisle United he’s on the lookout for a club again.

He’s confident a suitable offer will come. A couple of managers have already sounded him out since leaving Carlisle.

But when it does arrive he knows there’s a very real chance that again he will need to uproot his partner Leila and daughters Aviana, 5, and Halle, who is just 10 months, from their Cumbrian home. McGeouch said: “Of course, it’s a massive worry. At times you take for granted you're getting paid every month for doing a job that you love.

“But then it just suddenly stops and you're still chasing the dream and trying to get back in. There’s the worry about paying bills and schools and everything that comes with life.

“There's lots of positives about football and I’ve enjoyed plenty of them but there's also quite a few negatives. The uncertainty and every few years potentially having to move home.

“It gets harder when you've got kids. This will be the third time I've had to move my five-year-old away from a city where she's got friends. This will be the second school she's been in. She's only five.

“Right away, she gets comfortable with some friends. My partner gets friendly with some of the other parents.

“You enjoy a good life here. But in the back of your head, you know it's a matter of days or weeks then you're going somewhere else and having to start again.

“When I was younger, moving about was fun. New cities and everything is exciting.

“But when you have a family, there’s almost a bit of guilt. You know the reason you're having to take them away, take them out of the school they love is because of you.

“That's the guilt that I feel sometimes. She's having to go through all that as a little kid at five.

“But you sign up for that when you start out so you can't moan about it too much.”

It’s the life of a footballer indeed and McGeouch has been through a similar time after leaving Aberdeen three years ago before Forest Green Rovers, 500 miles away in Gloucestershire, came calling.

He said: “The older you get, the harder it gets. I've realised in the last five years that football can sometimes be more like a business. Returns for the money, resale value.

“Boys that are 30-plus find it a lot harder to sell themselves to clubs.

“Every squad will have a couple of experienced players. But it's just trying to get in somewhere to be one of those experienced players.

“I’m in good condition. I know I have a good few years left playing at a good level in me. I’ve been to the PFA camps and will head back there next week.

“I’m doing my own stuff every day. Some days I'll do double sessions, there's a place called Sheepmount in Carlisle, a big grass area owned by the council, the groundsman lets me go down there.

“I take my balls and cones and basically do as much as I can myself, all the running, change of direction stuff, ball work and then I'll go to the gym if I need to be doing more strength stuff.

“I was in a similar situation when I left Aberdeen, in between clubs, running around local parks.

“It’s quite quiet here to be fair. So I get on with my thing and there’s just a few dog walkers about.

“It can get tough when you’re thinking ‘this is getting harder and harder to keep motivated’.

“As players we get used to turning up and having stuff ready for you and you just train and go home.

“But this almost grounds you and gives you that hunger. That you've been through all this.

“It's tough when there's games going on and the weeks are passing by. You're thinking, ‘what's going to happen here?’

“But again, I've been in this situation before where I've been out of contract and had the same feelings.

“Overnight I basically got a phone call from Forest Green who were in League One at the time.

“That's always in the back of my head when I'm feeling a bit low. I know when I do get that phone call I'm ready to go.”

Not many Glasgow teenagers can command an audience with the managers of Celtic and Rangers in a bid to secure their services.

But 14 years ago McGeouch found himself as the rope in an Old Firm tug-of-war with Neil Lennon and Walter Smith pulling at the ends.

The then 18-year-old midfielder had spent three years in the Rangers academy and faced a choice - a lengthy contract at Ibrox with Walter Smith willing him to sign or a move back across the city to Celtic where he had previously been involved as a kid.

In the end a visit to the family home in Milton by Neil Lennon changed the boyhood Hoops fan’s world.

But he admits telling the late, great Smith left him wracked with guilt.

McGeouch said: “At the time you're thankful that the two top teams in Scotland are chasing you and doing everything they can to convince you to sign

“I was happy at Rangers, I didn't see myself moving. I knew the pathway there was a good opportunity.

“But when the Celtic manager comes to the house and has a conversation and tugs on the heartstrings - that was the turning point. It was a complete shock to see him sitting in the living room. I think half of Milton was outside!

“I don’t think I’d have left Rangers if Neil Lennon hadn’t come to the house.

“Eventually going to the club that I grew up supporting was the highlight of my whole career and probably my family’s.

“I signed a pre-contract but still had a few months left at Rangers. I felt a bit of guilt to be honest.

“Rangers treated me so well and I felt like I was letting them down a wee bit.

“I didn't really want to do that but I was also excited to go to the club I supported and all my family supported.

“There was guilt that I was letting good people down like Walter. But they took it so well. They were so professional and Walter knew I was a Celtic fan.”

McGeouch made 27 appearances for the Hoops and scored two goals, the first of which saw him run from the edge of his own box to net in a 5-0 Parkhead thumping of St Mirren in only his second outing.

He said: “I only needed one appearance and that would have been enough for me.

To play quite a few games and score goals in front of the fans and travel and see all the places and being involved with some of the biggest games in Celtic history - that was enough for me.

“By 2015 I knew it was time to move on to Hibs. If I'd stayed and just wasted time on the bench or in the stand football would have left me behind.

“I achieved some great things with Hibs, made memories forever and put myself in the history books.”

...

David Gray belting out hits on his acoustic guitar while an audience sings along fuelled with emotion and just a little booze. Nope, not David Gray the award-winning singer songwriter.

But the Hibs manager, former captain and 2016 Hampden hero who, unknown to many, is also a dab hand with a six string.

Dylan McGeouch has lifted the lid on the HIbees’ Scottish Cup afterparty that stretched on for days in Leith after Gray led his side to end a 114-year wait to lift the trophy.

He said: “Aye it was pretty wild, it lasted about 3-4 days. The whole of Leith must have taken a week off.

“We ended up in George Street somewhere in the early hours and then there was an after party back at John McGinn's flat. Dave's good on the guitar in case you didn’t know.

“He loves the guitar so he's got that out and played some Oasis songs for a sing along and a couple of Dave's mates and a few of the boys in the team were there joining in.

“When you look back at some of the videos it must be really early in the morning we’ve still got the suits and ties on.

“It's memories for a lifetime. It’s funny now to see Dave the manager doing really well and playing in Europe.

“It’s great to have those memories, every time I see him it takes me back to sharing a dressing room and lifting that Scottish Cup.

“I've got a belter of a picture of me and Dave lifting that Scottish Cup standing on the stairs at Hampden.

“It’s great to see him doing well as well and I've been lucky enough to share a dressing room, he's just a normal down to earth guy and works hard.

“He was the captain, he was all for the players, he would fight your corner for anything, bonuses, nights out, discipline he would fight your corner for anything.

“I’ve got league medals with Celtic which mean the world to me. But winning that Scottish Cup was probably the biggest achievement.”